Albert The Cat Has The Very Best Resting Bitchface
Albert the cat can teach you, but he’ll have to charge.
BREAKING CAT NEWS: This is Albert and he is royally ticked off.
Albert is a Selkirk Rex breed, which means he has naturally curly hair.
Doesn’t matter WHY he’s pissed, it just matters that you’ve disappointed him. Deeply.
Not even the world’s greatest cat nap can right this wrong.
Don’t worry, Albert has a way to deal with his anger. (Hint: It’s called REVENGE.)
Oh, was that YOUR waste basket? Guess you’ll have to clean it up then…
Hope you weren’t planning on printing anything… because you can’t now.
Filing? LOL, no, you won’t be able to find any of the files you needed.
You guessed it: all your passwords have been changed, and Albert did some rather unsavory online shopping.
No, no, it’s too late: Don’t try to placate Albert with copious brushing.
Don’t try to buy his affections with a cat-sized teepee.
… though he will be keeping that teepee, because it’s dope as hell.
Don’t think you can sway him by offering high-rise perches…
Fancy Amazon gifts…
Or fellow cat friends for him to play with. Albert hates those kinds of phony offerings.
No, no matter what you do, Albert will be sleeping with one eye open from now on.
He’ll be waiting for you to show a sign of weakness so he can exploit it.
And sure, the occasional cat yawn will get in the way of his pursuit of destroying you.
But don’t think that will deter Albert in any way.
Because Albert is always watching.
He’s always waiting.
And he’ll show up…
… where you least expect.
This is Albert, after all.
He doesn’t forgive, and he definitely never forgets.
RIP Mice. And watch your back, because Albert certainly is.