37 Agonizing New Zealand Problems
End of the Middle Earth.
Let’s start with the obvious.
Obvious, but still annoying.
Mate. Get out of the fucking car.
And then there’s the neighbours.
Still, at least they actually acknowledge we exist.
Wish I lived somewhere Siri was actually useful…
Unlike everyone else.
Basically no one understands us.
Never know what to put when asked for my state – New Zealand problems http://t.co/5JbNxosaCz <- #funny
YES WE EXIST PEOPLE.
Then there’s the constant reminders that we’re living in the danger zone.
Oh you wanted to go somewhere?
NZ is a place with unique problems.
Check out New Zealand’s ‘toughest’ PR issues of 2014: http://t.co/4LtzeULf9w | Quite a list of ‘first world problems’
Like being a nation split in two.
Like which Wi-Fi network to choose.
And the AGONY that is Halloween.
Major problem? A draconian government that limits our personal freedoms.
So far from “civilization” even the most basic things cost a ridiculous amount.
A nation where a Marmite shortage is a national emergency.
With chocolate milk so good we have to ration it.
Not forgetting our generally shitty weather.
That one hot day when the tarmac sticks to your Jandals.
This horrific moment.
And the goddamn flies.
But mainly, the goddamn winters.
We breed a vicious breed of criminal.
Distinctively NZ crime problems.
Keeping them away from the good stuff is a constant battle.
Which is why we deploy our intelligence resources where they’re most needed.
Only in New Zealand is sheep theft a problem… #nzproblems
And just when you’ve finally escaped the last of the sheep.
New Zealand roadtrip problems: cows on the road
Not forgetting THESE MOTHERFUCKERS.
National disgrace? You’ve never seen a kiwi.
Bloody native wildlife!
This joke on repeat till The End of Time.
The same bloody jokes, every, single, time.
Here we go again #RoadTripProblems.
Goddammit New Zealand.